Healing transgressions and neglect between adults and their parents
Help build the Center for the Adult Child™ to explore and enhance
our relationships with our parents, adult children, and in-laws. Donate today
Relationships between adults of any age, and their parents, can be intense: nurturing and intimate, or hurtful and demoralizing. Among all relationships, those between parent and child are likely to have the strongest expectations, most unresolved pasts, complicated love, and profound heartache, but also the strongest of bonds. At the end of life, people often call out for their (deceased or estranged) mother or father. And most people (not all) will describe the death of a child, at any age, as the most painful loss.
Conflicts between adults and their parents are often suppressed beneath a cover of respect and family honor, secrecy, shame, and/or fear. Many internalize their feelings of animosity or self-doubt, which can result in estrangement. Oftentimes, neither adults nor their parents have been socialized to express disagreements, disappointments, challenges, or suggestions in a healthy way, nor were they socialized to listen and consider criticism.
Gender often plays a major role in these relationships as a driver of expectations each has of the other regarding the type of interactions they would have: mother-daughter, mother-son, father-son, father-daughter. Gender is also a major factor among the increasing number of children and parents who identify as nonbinary or transgender.
The Center for the Adult Child™ helps individuals better understand this parent-child dynamic, heal from damaging interactions or neglect, and find pathways to enhancing the quality of this important and deeply influential relationship.
In-law Relationships
We begin by focusing on in-law relationships – a relationship that is often the target of jokes (many of which are violent), and is fraught with the fear of disruption and estrangement. Tensions between a partner/spouse and one’s parent can amplify any preexisting discord, no matter how slight, between a couple, or between one’s relationship with one’s own parent. When young children are present, they are negatively impacted by tensions between parents, or between their parents and grandparents, which could lead to estrangement from grandparents and other family members. Our Discussion Groups help people to navigate the cultural and historical influences and expectations on, and aspirations for, these relationships. We also celebrate positive in-law relationships that extend the bonds of family with warmth, affection, and wisdom.
Services
Let it Out! – Discussion & Support Groups
Let it Out! is our series of online, facilitated, peer Discussion & Support Groups. We offer staff-led groups for people 18 and older, addressing in-law relationships and conflicts. Groups include 10-week Discussion Groups, and weekly Bereavement Support Groups.
One-to-one sessions are also available – contact us to make arrangements.
- Tensions with Parent-In-Law* – “There’s tension with my partner’s parent, and I need help.”
- Tensions with Child-In-Law* – “There’s tension with my child’s partner, and I need help.”
To see all groups and to register, click on Current Groups.
* To ensure a safe space for all participants, family members are not permitted to join this group together. We will develop future programs where family members may participate together.
Family Dynamics Clearinghouse™
Resources
Programs & Information: Preserving Parent-Child Bonds | Elder Abuse | In-laws | Veterans | Honor Violence
Media: Podcasts
Bibliography
Books & Articles
Film & Television
Family Spirals® 