Due to the pandemic, our groups will be online, using Zoho Meeting. There are unique considerations when using technology for Discussion and Support Groups. The following rules and guidelines were developed to help maintain the flow, confidentiality, and benefits of participating in these services. Our groups are also designed to be a respite from the tensions that abound in everyday life.
Group Dynamics
- Respect other group members. Try not to make assumptions about other participants based on the way they look, talk, or dress. Don’t assume they believe certain things if they identify with a particular religious tradition, ethnicity, or ideology. Each of us is a unique, complex person navigating complicated family dynamics – we can learn from one another.
- Respect differences. Participants share similar family experiences, yet there are also significant differences since we’re all different, our relationships are with different people, we experience different circumstances, and we have different family histories and influences.
- Be patient and kind.
- Try not to interrupt other group members or the facilitator. Emotions can run high, but we all need to feel supported during our meetings. Due to time constraints, participants may not get a chance to say everything they want to, but the facilitator will make every effort to ensure that everyone gets a chance to speak.
- Listen to each other. Nobody likes to feel ignored. Although we’re not in the same room, we still see each other close-up while we’re talking online.
- Let’s not give advice. What works for one person may be ineffective or even disastrous for another due to different personalities, situations, relationships, histories, cultures, and so on. The desire to give advice may be well-intentioned, but if someone wants advice they’ll ask for it.
- Joining a group with a family member. Generally, we discourage this, since it may be inhibiting to one or the other person. For groups addressing family conflicts, we don’t permit it; our groups are not set up for that. To ensure long-lasting beneficial outcomes, each person needs to take steps separately to plan for improved family interactions, or to find ways of living apart. Our groups enable you to focus on yourself and your needs. We also want to protect the group from conflicting family members. In the future we’ll launch activities where people in troubled relationships may participate together.
Logistics
- Groups start on-time. Please check-in 3-5 minutes before group begins.
- We are using Zoho Meeting. For the first meeting, early check-in will enable you to familiarize yourself with technical features, such as how to mute your microphone or send a message.
- If possible, use headphones, limit ambient noise, and mute your microphone when not speaking.
- Silence other electronic devices.
- We can see and hear you. Scratching, tapping, yawning, looking away is seen by everyone.
Confidentiality
- Read our commitment to confidentiality in our Core Values, applicable to all Family Spirals’ services, activities, and meetings.
- Online groups are conducted with end-to-end encryption and we do not record them. Be aware that whenever something is online, in the rare case when security measures fail, there is a risk that the content of a meeting could be accessed by unauthorized persons.
- We cannot guarantee confidentiality for meetings – we ask participants to respect each other’s privacy by agreeing not to disclose what other people shared in the meeting to anyone outside of our group:
- do not repeat things you hear, or share details on social media.
- do not take photos/screenshots/videos of meetings.
- Be aware of who is around you during sessions. If you cannot be alone, please keep your screen private and use headphones so that others in the room or near you cannot see or hear sessions.
- Trolling/doxing/bombing will not be tolerated and offending persons will be removed.
- Pseudonyms. You may use your real name (first name only is fine, you can delete your last name in the meeting), or choose a nature pseudonym: adjective + animal/plant/mineral, e.g., ‘Strong Puppy.’
- Facilitators are mandated to disclose information if there is; a) imminent risk of harm to self or others, b) reported or suspected abuse or neglect of a child, elderly or disabled individual, or c) a court order.
Safety
- We take threats of self-harm and/or violence seriously and will take appropriate action. This may include referring the person to our listed Hotlines, calling the person’s emergency contact, and/or calling 988 (national mental health hotline) or 911.
- If you feel yourself in a personal emergency during a meeting or at any other time, visit our Hotlines webpage for possible help, or search for local organizations that provide needed support.
- If you feel triggered by our discussions or are in crisis when a suppressed memory or intense emotion surfaces – wave a hand. Facilitators may pause sessions to help a group member.
- If the facilitator uses the Breakout Room to speak with the person privately, talk amongst yourselves. (This is a feature that Zoho Meetings will release in the future).
- Depending on the situation, the group can recommend how to proceed. This can be a group bonding experience, as we learn how to support each other and explore feelings that get triggered.
- In rare cases, a participant’s displaced anger may be directed at the facilitator or other group members. At the facilitator’s discretion, people will be removed for the safety of the group.
- Some people may seek friendships or continued peer support outside of the group. Online groups provide less opportunities to get to know each other than in-person groups, and each person has relatively little time to speak. While some may want to keep in touch, please don’t pressure anyone to give their full name or contact information. (At this time, people are not able to message each other privately.)
Creative Projects
- 5-Minute Sharing. During the first meeting, you will be asked if there is a relevant topic of particularly interest to you. Everyone is encouraged to give a 5-minute sharing that will deepen our understanding of your topic. Research tools include Wikipedia, Google, and Google Scholar, and our various resource lists (resources, books, articles, films, art). You might want to report on a book, investigate reviews of a painting or film, explore attitudes in another culture, or something else. Each sharing will be 5 minutes, with one every session (we’ll double on session 9), followed by a 5-minute discussion. Presentations may be interactive. This is a way to learn something new, support each other, apply critical thinking skills to a problem, and feel empowered in talking about these issues with other people.
- Art Project. Participants are asked to create a work of art by our last session. This can be a drawing or painting, poem or song, installation, costume, interpretative dance, or other project. It can be literal or abstract or avant-garde. Artwork will not be judged; it provides an opportunity to be creative and express ideas and emotions. It’s your choice to share your art with the group. We may also ask for your permission to feature your artwork on our website. For inspiration, visit our online Art Galleries.
Wrap-up
In the last session, we’ll share final thoughts about this group experience and give our best wishes.
Do you have more questions? Visit our Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) page.
Ready to Apply to Register? Check out our Current Groups.
Please read our Privacy Policy, Terms and Conditions, and Disclaimers.
Some rules were inspired by those of UCC, PFLAG, and NAMI.
We thank them for their thoughtful work.
Family Spirals® 